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Kids Say The Darnedest Things Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because they keep journals of amusing things their students have written in papers. The future of "I give" is "I take." The parts of speech are lungs and air. The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes. A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population. Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. (Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water. A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot. The general direction of the Alps is straight up. A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator. Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums. The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom. We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk. One of the main causes of dust is janitors. A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities. One by-product of raising cattle is calves. To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat. The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. The climate is hottest next to the Creator. Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings. The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom. Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners. The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other. In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon. Iron was discovered because someone smelt it. In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah. A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter. Rain is saved up in cloud banks. It is so hot in some places that people have to live in other places. A monsoon is a French gentleman. To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow. When planets run around in a circle, it's called orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy. In some rocks, you find fossil footprints of fish. For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead. Thunder is a rich source of loudness. These are excerpts from a little book called Children's Letters To God Dear God, On Holloween I am going to wear a Devil's costume. Is that all right with you? Marnie Dear God, Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his Bowling Words in the house? Anita Dear God, Did you mean for giraffe to look like that or was it an accident. Norma Dear God, I like the Lords prayer the best of all. Did you have to write it a lot or did you get it right the first time? I have to write everything I ever write over again. Lois Dear God, I like the story about Chanuka the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones. Glenn Now back to my quotes page.